Batman v Superman Review
*Taps feet repeatedly*
*Still tapping feet*
*Tries to type something*
Okay, okay, if you didn’t get it. There is simply too much pressure upon me to write this review. Kinda like the pressure on Bat vs Supes to be the movie we deserve. So… I’m not sure if this review will deliver. Plus, the internet has cracked a hole with fighting on whether the movie is good or bad.
So getting to it.
Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice is directed by Zack Snyder and stars Henry Cavill and Batfleck, I mean Ben Affect.
Let’s talk about the actors first. There was plenty of hating on Affleck and Jesse Eisenberg. The good news is that Ben Affleck delivers, or at least to me, I don’t know about you though… Batfleck gives us a Batman that is older, bitter and more broody, and I love it.
Jesse Eisenberg, on the other hand… well, he’s just fine, kinda of fine, sorta of fine. Well, he’s not the strategic villain I’d like to see. Instead, he’s a straight forward maniacal, egoistic, slightly insane, highly OCD sort of villain.
And, Henry Cavill, well, there’s more of Superman than Clark Kent in the movie and he shines as Supes.
Ermm… Did you see the second trailer? I hope not. I’m trying to forget the second trailer, because if you saw it, then yes, you just saw the whole movie. But, the premise is an interesting one. Batman understands the power of Superman and knows that such a powerful being cannot be left to its own means.
Superman, well, Superman is pissed that he’s got to be Superman. Oh wait, actually no, Superman is pissed that Batman is torturing the shit out of criminals.
Lex Luthor wants to be God, or he wants to control God or he’s just there in the movie to say these lines:
Actually, I can’t figure it out. But basically, Lex is there. And he offers humanity a way to deal with Supes.
I’m soooo happy with the storytelling, and also the character development because the movie completely forgets how to tell a story. So.. really, no, I’m not happy. The story progresses poorly, relying on quick snap snapshots of scenes with single one-liner dialogue for the entire 2h and 31 mins that it runs. Almost as if the entire movie is one huge trailer.
POW, BOOM, WHAM
Expect plenty of action through this movie. I did. I waited. I kept waiting. The interval arrived. Then I stopped waiting.
As an action movie, Snyder gets it spot on, or near/ close to the spot. Buttttt all of that comes in the second half. And it is kick-ass! Honestly, I would have liked the story to progress quicker, but Snyder takes sooo much time setting things up. Batman versus Superman, and [SPOILER ALERT!]… Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman versus Doomsday are awesome!
Butttt, looking at the source, Batman has kicked Supes ass in a 5 level-strategy fight (Oh, please read Hush and Dark Knight Returns to know more), but the fight over in this movie is a 2 level strategy fight. Even before the fight begins, you know how it is going to end because the movie gives it away; plus, the strategy is quite simple.
Dawn of Justice
Superman V Batman is a setup for Dawn of Justice and it’s a terrible setup. Wonder Woman’s presence didn’t make any sense at all, even though she totally kicked ass. And – I’ll tell you how Flash, Cyborg and Aquaman were introduced, they – oh wait. I can’t, it’ll be a spoiler.
All I can say is: BLARGH/it’s freaking terrible.
Overall, I liked the movie. But, the question is will you enjoy it? You know what? I don’t know. I don’t know if you will hate it. I don’t know if you will love it. I don’t know if you’ll shrug your shoulder and go, “MEH”.
BUT I can help you – with some few spoilers – here is –
Confictious’s How you can Love and Hate BS movie Guide
How to Love it
- Leave 1/4th or half of your brain out. Come on folks, it’s not that bad.
- Love Michael Bay Explosions? Then love it some more, and then watch Gotham burn to the ground.
- Explode with joy with Bat’s new fight style. Oh, just you wait! This Bat fighting style trumps all the previous Bat fight scenes!
- Dig the new, improved, updated andd – gritty Supes.
- Ignore the first half.
- Watch Superman get the shit beaten out of him .
- Watch Superman flick Batman away at the touch of a finger
(Please read Superman: Sacrifice if you want to see Superman eat Batman for breakfast, no holds barred and Wonder Woman go toe to toe with him).
- Love Jeremy Irons as he kills it as Alfred the Butler with his sarcastic lines.
How to Hate it
- Watch with a full brain and a critical eye
- Get bored in the first half because of the slow story progression which sums-up to – Bat getting ready to stop Supes, Lex planning something, and Supes just flying around places and stuff happens.
- Realise that Batman kills people but he doesn’t justify it and him fighting against Supes makes no sense.
- Shitty script. Seriously, every dialogue is like a one-liner.
- Boring Bat car chase which is more of – BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, RA-TA-TA, BOOM.
- Terrible cinematography – close up to his eyes, close up to his nose, random bird’s eye view shot, oh, another close up.
- See General Zod die again.
- Watch random dream sequences which only a comic fan is meant to understand.
Holy Crap. There is not a lot of confusion in this review? Well, I guess it’s just one of those movies.
Yes, BVS does not meet its potential, but it’s not a terrible movie and the action is quite exciting.
Holy Crap. I didn’t give a verdict? Ermmm… come on. I already wrote the review. I. AM. NOT. GOING. TO. MAKE. THAT. DECISION. I can’t. It’s good. It’s bad. It’s bad. It’s good. ARrrggghhh!
Why I can’t Decide?
You know what?
I’ll come clean on why I can’t decide.
No director is able to convert comics to films like Zack Snyder – 300 and Watchmen prove that. The beginning of Bat vs Supes is beautiful. It’s exactly like the Dark Knight Returns comic.
Panel for panel is shown in the movie and it’s beautiful. Then, urggh, Bruce Wayne has a random dream where he is flying with bats.
Zack Snyder is a terrible storyteller. Sucker Punch proves that and Bats vs Supes confirms it. The premise, Batfleck, Wonder Woman, Injusticed-styled Superman, and the action is quite good, however, Snyder simply fails to deliver the best story that he can with good character development.
And yes, we must recognise that he had the challenges of a Bat vs Supes fight and developing Justice League, both challenging tasks, which he wasn’t able to match up to.
PS: Oh and seriously, can someone take the director and scriptwriters for a training course on how to write a good story?Batman review, Batman v Superman, Batman v Superman dawn of justice, Confusious, The movie monks, Zack Synder